Sunday, February 20, 2011
Finally on to today...I messed up
We ran into a snag this morning because I was being pushy. I told you in the intro that I was a control freak. That is not an exaggeration. I am a type A, bossy, control freak. There is nothing wrong with me having a type A leadership personality but it takes a toll on my relationships and on myself. I deal with unbelievable levels of stress because I have difficulty in trusting others and delegating. Proof that I'm a control freak....I'm already trying to control the spanking. I was being pushy because I wanted my husband to spank me again this morning. I had wanted him to try his belt, thinking it might do the job without bruising as much. He took one look at the bruises from last night (which of course had gotten darker) and he balked. It ensued an argument. Frustrated to the point of tears, I told him I was gong to take a shower and get ready for a meeting I had this afternoon. I immediately felt bad and wrote him a note saying that I was sorry for trying to control it all and that I would back off until he was ready. After all I had asked him to take the lead. I left it on his pillow. I hope I don't have to wait long.