Tuesday, February 22, 2011
discouraged and encouraged
I got my punishment spanking. If you can even call it that. My husband had me lay face down on the bed with pillows under my hips. He pulled down my panties and began using his belt. It was harder than yesterday and at stroke 7 or 8 I curled up one of my legs and let out a soft high pitched "eenh". My husband became anxious because he could tell it was starting to hurt, and he bailed. He told me that was all he could do and to stay laying face down and he would check on me later. Then he walked out. I started to cry. Not because my bottom was hurting - when I checked it after he left it wasn't even warm yet. Not because I was sorry for my behavior. I started to cry because I knew I would break the same rules tomorrow, because I had no incentive not to. What was I going to do to make him understand that he isn't causing me lasting harm by spanking me hard enough to regret my behavior? How was I going to convince him that he is doing this because he loves me? How do I help him realize that there are parts of me that are holding me back from being my best, and if I could change them on my own, I already would have? When he came back in he knew why I was crying. He told me he was sorry because he knows that it should have been more. He revealed that what happened was when he saw me curl up my leg and let out that pained sound, he felt this sudden urge to spank me harder and faster and it scared the hell out of him. We talked for a while and agreed we would just try it again the next time I earned a punishment. Do you know what he said then? "That may be sooner than later, because I've decided to add the rule about you not being late to work without a valid excuse starting tomorrow." He may turn into a disciplinarian yet.