This is the journey of one control freak wife and one gentle spirited husband as they seek to balance their

roles in their home
and bring an extra measure of joy to their already happy marriage.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

anti-climatic

Last night ended up being anti-climatic. We were both exhausted from the day's activities. I went to bed after posting last night and was expecting to be dragged out of bed in the middle of the night. Fortunately, I was not.  Steve fell asleep on the couch playing video games and ended up not coming to bed until 4:00am.  

It was only a temporary reprieve.

First thing this morning... "Sorry I fell asleep, but I'm going to make up for it today. Come bend over the bed.  I'm going to start out by giving you some strokes with the cane.  You're going to have to stay silent because the children haven't left yet."    He gave me 10 hard strokes.  It took everything in me not to make noise.  We didn't have time to talk so we just embraced and headed over to the office.

"Meet me at the house for lunch."   He was already putting some lunch together for us when I got there. "Drop your pants."   He was holding a pancake turner in his hand. I got a quick but painful spanking with it. "We still have a long way to go, but that is going to have to wait until tonight. Let's eat lunch and talk."

"I'm feeling some resistance from you.  I thought this was what you wanted from me.  I thought you wanted for me to take charge, but the last couple of times I have put my foot down on something I'm seeing negative body language from you.  I'm confused."

"I'm sorry.  It probably is confusing.  Yes, as you are becoming more and more comfortable with your role as HoH, and the true power shift is becoming more and more of a reality, I am having more and more difficulty being submissive.  Please don't think I've changed my mind.  It's just harder than it was.  I have been in charge of all aspects of our lives for fifteen years.  It is hard to surrender, but I'm still committed to this."

"That's all I wanted to know. Since that is the case, there are some things that I feel we really need to address. You were really disrespectful yesterday and some of your actions were also dangerous. It's going to have to wait until after all the kids are in bed and C gets home.  We'll have to wait for her because we'll need to go over to the office.  This will be the hardest spanking I've ever given you, and I don't want us to have to worry about it if you cry out loudly. How do you feel about that?"

"I was afraid that was what you were going to say, and at the same time, afraid that wasn't what you were going to say.  I'm nervous about it, but I trust you and I'm positive that at this critical juncture that is exactly what needs to happen and that I need to submit to it."

"Ok, then that is what is going to happen. I love you so much."

"I love you more."  "I doubt that. [grin]"   He pulled me over his knee and gave me a quick but firm hand spanking.  Let's get back to work before they think we're playing hooky this afternoon."  

I now have about an hour more to wait, and I'm really getting nervous.  I don't want anyone to think that I'm afraid.  Steve would never cause me injury, but I know we are going to be crossing into new territory on our journey.  We're both going to do some growing tonight. 

6 comments:

  1. I wish you luck, and I hope it all goes well. What's clear is that you are growing together, and that must feel wonderful! Sara

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  2. Eeeeeek. He sounds like he's a natural at this, or he's picking it up fast.

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  3. Good luck girly! You guys seem to be doing great with this!

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  4. You guys are really getting the hang of this. I'm enjoying your journey!

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  5. Wow! I feel for you but you are so lucky that he is committed and is stepping up. If he can start out being consistent...well, you will be one of the lucky few couples.

    P.S. - When you post to my sight, I can't ever see it ther, only in email??? Thanks for stopping by though. I appreciate it.

    Kelly

    ~No worries

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  6. Sara - It is so wonderful, it's scary. Do you know what I mean?

    Stormy - much faster and more naturally than I expected which has caught me off guard.

    Heather & Rogue - thank you for the encouragement; my sore bottom needed it.

    Kelly - posts from me have been an issue for pretty much every blog I comment on. The google people cannot figure out why. Most of the time my comments go to spam. I have no idea why they are going to your e-mail. If it's not your spam folder then I guess that's progress. Thanks for your participation in my blog as well. I like feedback. :)

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