This is the journey of one control freak wife and one gentle spirited husband as they seek to balance their

roles in their home
and bring an extra measure of joy to their already happy marriage.

Monday, June 6, 2011

where's the rhythm?

I'm feeling like Little Bo Peep. We have lost our rhythm and don't know where to find it.  

Somehow the pressures of work and children have consumed us despite our best efforts. Well, maybe "best effort" would be an exaggeration on Steve's part.

More nights than not lately, I'm going to bed frustrated while my husband finds everything else in the world to do besides spank me.  Many mornings I'm waking up to an "I'm sorry, I know you wanted some attention last night, but I was too tired. Don't worry, I'm going to get us back on track."   

He's been one big wind bag lately.  He talks about spanking me, teases me about trying out strange implements, or trying out a different position to put me in, but then..... nothing.

I told him how I felt last night.  "I'm tired of 'I'm sorry'.  If you were really sorry it would have changed.  I'm tired of 'I'm tired'.  Here's a thought... don't stay up until two in the morning watching tv or playing video games and you'd might have the energy to give me some attention.  I'm tired of 'Don't worry'.  I am worried that getting back to the rhythm we had established so well is going to keep being put off until it is all a distant memory. I am worried because I see myself slipping back to where I was before.  I see us slipping back into the previous relationship patterns.  If you don't want me to worry then get us back on track."

Ready for the big reply?  "I know. I'm going to get us back on track."

 I want to yell at him, "Stop telling me that and do it already!" 

Alas, I know this is a common pitfall that many dd couples go through during the course of their relationship, but that doesn't make it any less aggravating.

Anyway, if anyone sees our rhythm, will you please direct it to come back home?  I miss it.


  1. I've been there, and it's no fun. Unfortunately, I dont have any advice, but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone and I'll be thinking of you, too.

  2. I'm struggling with whether it's even worth it. My husband(Daddy) is in charge and he just doesn't spank me...hardly ever. And if I were to tell him that I wanted a spanking then it would be me asking for it and not his idea and that's a turnoff for me. I feel your pain and don't have any great ideas, either.

  3. Your rythm ended up at our house....we use to not have one at all and hubby has def discovered the *good vibes* that are accompanied with it. I could use a break though so I'll send it back anytime. :)

  4. I don't have any advice either...but I can feel your frustation in your words. I hope he makes a change soon for both your sakes...sending you good vibes....

  5. I'll lend you my HOH if you want! (but be warned, he's picky and strict!)

    Seriously, just keep communicating. But, if he doesn't want this, you cannot force him. Let him grow into it. Being submissive means more than accepting a spanking.

  6. Heather - Thanks for the empathy. I'm just whining. It's not like Steve isn't spanking me at all, we've just gotten out of sync from the demands of life. I was glad to see that the two of you are starting to get back into the "swing" of things. ;)

    Kitty - I remember you saying that this was a very new thing for you guys. As Stormy mentioned, it can take a lot of communication between the two of you. I talked a lot with Steve about what I wanted. Even then it will have its ups and downs. Steve and I had a slow and bumpy start, then we were really doing well and in sync, then we got derailed, then got back into rhythm, then got derailed again. All of this in four months. I will say this... I think it is worth it. Have patience and persevere.

    Ashley - LOL!!! Thanks, I think you must have sent some of it back today. I'm sure we can share it just fine.

    K's sweetie - Poor Steve, I really kinda raked him over the coals. I really made it sound like it was all him, but the circumstances of life have a major role in this too. I appreciate the good vibes. Thanks :)

    Stormy - I've read enough of your blog to know that I wouldn't survive a day with your HoH! :) It certainly isn't that Steve doesn't want to, we've just had a lot going on. I'm the type of person that will figure out a way to get something done if I want to, whereas Steve is much more laid back/borderline lazy. I'm really more frustrated with our circumstances than with him. We were doing really well and had a near perfect rhythm going and it got derailed. But that is the way life is sometimes. I'm just being a whiner-baby is all. Considering the things that have happened over the last 48 hours, I pretty sure we'll be back on track soon. Thanks for your support and advice.