I love to be spanked. I love it a lot. I am willing to admit that.
I am usually aroused any time I am spanked. Sometimes during punishment I am not, but usually it springs to life as soon as Steve is done.
Many people keep it in tidy little cubbies neatly separated. It just isn't for me. It was my interest in spanking that led me to domestic discipline to begin with. In terms of sexual interest and emotional output, it is one messy ball of tangled up yarn for Steve and me.
That being said, there is separation of purpose. I didn't have to have a domestic discipline relationship with my husband in order to be spanked. I am 100% certain that I could have just told Steve, "Babe, I want you to spank me." Steve is obsessed enough with my bottom that he would have jumped on that easily enough. We could have easily stayed in the sexual play arena. There's only one problem with that. Only my needs would have been met.
As I researched domestic discipline in its various forms, I realized that bringing this to our marriage would benefit both of us. It would provide Steve a window of opportunity for growth that he has never had, and for me it would be a respid from the pressures of leadership. There were clear and defined intellectual reasons for participating in a dd lifestyle.
For us, though, the separation of purposes doesn't matter when it comes to living it.
Steve spanks me because we both enjoy the sexual arousal that results.
Steve spanks me because the endorphin release is a great stress reliever for me.
Steve spanks me because sometimes I need to know that he's in charge.
Steve spanks me because I need to be reminded of what my best self should be.
It is all messy and undefined, but ultimately it is not the intellectual reasons why that matters to us.
What matters is what are we getting out of it all... a great marriage that is now supercharged with more intimacy and communication!