This is the journey of one control freak wife and one gentle spirited husband as they seek to balance their

roles in their home
and bring an extra measure of joy to their already happy marriage.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

the reason why

It took a lot of reflection, but I believe I know what I was feeling Thursday night and why I was feeling that way.

The emotion I was experiencing was loneliness.  That isn't an emotion I've had during a spanking before, and it took me a while to process it.

Almost always when Steve is spanking me we are connected in some way.  Usually I am over his lap or knee.  Even when I am kneeling in the stuffed chair or laying over the bed, he has his hand on me or touches me frequently.

When he had me stand and was spanking me with the paddle there was no contact between us, only the pain of the strokes.  That was when I had an intense moment of loneliness. It took a lengthy snuggling session and two bouts of love-making to eradicate it, but I feel reconnected to Steve now.

There was nothing wrong with the punishment.  I still feel that Steve handled it exactly the way he should have. At least now I will be able to identify the emotion sooner and better express my feelings and needs to Steve.

By the way, Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there.


  1. Isnt it weird all the little things that work together to make a spanking have the right effect? Who knew it was so complicated. The spanking has to be right, the words have to be right the touching/ position have to be right and what happens after has to be right.

    I do know what you are saying though. If one of these things is off It can really change how we feel during/after a spanking.

  2. The reason why a "warm up" is so important for me in my relationship is the physical connection. His hand on my butt, my body on his lap, it connects us.

  3. You are a smart lady for identifying the correct emotion. I know, for me, spanking (although painful) is a powerful connection..not only physically, but emotionally. I'm glad you could work through it!

  4. Yeh, I can see that. I don't know that I have too much connection during the spanking, but I would feel lost if I didn't have it afterwards. Sometimes he has to hold me in place, but that's not necessarily the same thing. Emotions are hard to figure out in this dynamic I think.

    You'll know next time doll. You know he loves you know matter what.