This is the journey of one control freak wife and one gentle spirited husband as they seek to balance their

roles in their home
and bring an extra measure of joy to their already happy marriage.

Friday, May 13, 2011

stupid tv

Stupid tv!  I rarely watch it these days, but last night I decided to watch a show on-demand that I hadn't seen in a while.  I watched my show, gave the troop goodnight kisses, and headed over to the office to take care of some paperwork.

Forty-five minutes had passed, and I was putting away the last file when Steve walked in the door with implement box in hand.  I'm sure the look on my face was comical.

"Ummm, I was just getting ready to head back home."  "Good, I'm just in time then.  We can talk about some things before we go back."

"Talk about some things?"  "Yes, but strip down and get your cushion so you can kneel in front of the chair."     

Let me just say that I had a lump in my throat at that point.  It has been weeks since we have had a serious formal punishment session, and it was clear that was exactly what was about to happen.

"We need to add a new rule.  I know you don't watch tv very often, but when you do you get absorbed to the exclusion of everything else.  From now on if one of the children are trying to talk to you, you need to pause the tv and give them your full attention.  Your daughter was trying to tell you about her softball game this evening and you didn't give her any attention.  You know that right now we need to seize every opportunity to give her positive attention to counter-balance all the discipline we've had to dole out lately. Right?"    I nodded because I was too ashamed to speak. "Please go stand in the corner and think about it.  I'll be back in a few minutes."

I started crying while I was standing in the corner, and every parent who reads this will know why.  Steve returned about five minutes later and had me resume my position on my knees in front of him in the chair.

"I really didn't like it, and I think it deserves punishment even though it was not a formal rule yet. How do you feel about it?"    "Embarrassed and ashamed...I think you are absolutely right, and I'm not going to be able to forgive myself and move on until I receive punishment for it and apologize to her in the morning. Thank you for noticing it and calling me on it.  I don't want to do that again."  

"I know how much you love our children. Let's get this over with so that we can move on." 

I was paddled, strapped, and caned.  I actually have a few marks left today, but it was what was needed and deserved.  Keep in mind, I know that was not the first time that has happened, just the first time since we started dd.  I was very proud of Steve for stepping up as HoH and pointing out a behavior that was detrimental to my relationship with my children.  If we had not started dd, he might have said something eventually, but I can guarantee you that I would have become defensive and argumentative about it.  I love our new life.

And I hate that stupid tv!


  1. Oh, have we all been there with the little ones! Jared has called me out on that before, but I haven't been spanked for it. Yet. You guys are doing great!!!

  2. Awww, yeh thats hard. Kids want to please so much. Hes right about seizing that. I get why he did it, but I'm not sure it deserved that much. You didn't mean it. You were sorry and respectful. I know you feel you deserve what you got, but I just want to give you a big ol hug!!!!


    ~No worries

  3. The rule to pause the TV when you are talking with someone else is a good one.

    The other is that I typically require my girl go to the room where the other person is if she wants to talk with them. That includes me, of course, but I think it's important with children as well.

    With all the distractions it's easy to slip into a habit of not entirely paying attention to the other people around us. It takes a bit of a special effort to shift focus to pay attention to them. But, it's a matter of respecting them.

  4. Rogue - I felt really bad about it, and I hope that Steve won't ever let me slide on it.

    Kelly - It actually wasn't that bad and it wasn't just for that. The paddling was for the tv incident, the strapping was for failing to maintain my food journal, and the caning was for cursing (the bane of my existence). I chose to focus on the tv incident because it represented a new development for us on the journey. I appreciate the empathy though. :)

    Rich Person - I agree completely.