I would have spanked myself if Steve hadn't done it. It was a really dumb mistake on my part. Here's what happened...
I was home early yesterday, so I was there when our children got home from school. My 13 year old daughter came bouncing in with one of her friends whom we allow her to hang out with usually only at our house (we have some concerns about her home life). "Hey, Mom. K has invited me to spend the night since we don't have school tomorrow. Can I go? Dad told me to ask you."
I was instantly irritated, not at her, but at Steve. In our pre-dd life, this would happen all the time. He would always tell the kids to ask me. Therefore, I was always the bad guy when I would say no. One of the things that we had discussed about his role as HoH, was that when these things came up that we would tell the children that we had to discuss it with one another first and then he would deliver the verdict. That had been going well before now. "Please, please, please, Mom!" "Ok, I guess so, but you have to be home by 10 am because you have a dentist appointment." "Thanks, Mom!" Off she went with her friend to her room to pack up and hang out until K's dad showed up.
Fast forward an hour and a half. Steve was coming in the door as our 13 year old was getting ready to head out. "Hey, sweetie, where are you going?" Imagine the look on my face. "Wait, you didn't know she was going to K's house?" "Nope." Well anyone with children could imagine the scene then.
When we were alone I told him that I was sorry. "I should have known better than to believe her. I should have called you." "Yes you should have. What on earth made you think that I had suddenly forgotten our procedure for this?" "I don't know." "Well you're going to get a spanking for it."
He tore my bottom up. He spanked me with his hand, the ping-pong paddle, the leather strap, and the acrylic paddle. "I hope you realize now that although you started this, I'm committed to trying my best to do my part. Don't let the kids fool you again." "I won't."
In case you were wondering what happened to the 13 year old, she has no phone or computer privileges for a while.
Ah, the fine art of triangulation. I think every teen comes magically equipped with this skill. Sorry you got caught in her web, but I am sure you're relieved knowing your husband held his ground! Sara
ReplyDeleteOh darn! I'm glad that it was your daughter being sneaky rather than Steve forgetting or ignoring your new arrangement. Not to say it's good your daughter was being sneaky but...it's a teen thing lol and I'm glad things are good with your hubby, even though you got spanked :(
ReplyDeleteTeenagers seem to have no trouble bending the facts to fit their inclinations. It certainly happens here. Heather says "it's a teen thing", but does it have to be?
ReplyDeleteSara & Heather - It really helped cement in my mind that this was no longer something Steve is doing just because I asked him to, but because he is seeing the benefit and is committed to it as well.
ReplyDeleteMalcolm - I think it does probably have to be that way. Teens are trying so hard to figure out where they are in the world and whether all those things we taught them as children really still apply. Most people back off from parenting during the teen years, but I believe that is when you really have to put in the most effort if you really want to affect what kind of adults they can be. This child who tried to lie to get her way is the same child who a couple of days ago was overhearing Steve and I discussing some financial issues and she came over and said that as soon as she turns 14 she is going to get a job at the local grocery store so that she can help out. It made me misty because she was very sincere. She has a good heart, she's just really stubborn. I have no idea where she gets it from. ;)