a different animal

I was promised playtime on Wednesday night, and it was great.  I received a lengthy maintenance session with his hand and the small strap.  This segued into a massage and some awesome lovemaking.  All in all, it was worth waiting an extra day for. 

Thursday was a different animal altogether.  I ended up having a very stressful day, and I let it get the better of me.  The low point came after dinner when I was upset over something Steve and I were discussing.  The dog ended up right behind me and when I went to turn around I almost tripped over him.  That's when it happened. 

"G-d d#$% it, you stupid dog!"  [yelling]

"Julia, the kids are in the family room, they can hear you."  [soft-spoken]

"I'm sorry, but the dog just about killed me! [still yelling and exaggerating]

"I know that it has been a stressful day for you.  Go into our bedroom and try to relax for a little bit." [still soft-spoken and was rubbing my arm]

Now if I had just done what he said that would be the end of this story, but I didn't have the sense to come in out of the rain at that point.

"Don't tell me what to do!" [voice raised but not yelling, and I jerked away my arm]

Steve's demeanor changed in an instant. He leaned against me so that I was caught between him and the kitchen island.  He put his mouth to my ear and between clenched teeth I heard, "You had better get yourself in that room right now, because the kids do not deserve to see or hear you acting like this.  Keep it up and I swear I will give you a spanking like you've never had before."

"Yeah, right!"

"JULIA! Right now!"

"Whatever."  I stormed off to our bedroom.

Prior to dd, Steve would have said something but then walked away, and my family would have been walking on egg shells until the storm had past.

I ended up falling asleep, and Steve came in a couple of hours later and woke me up.

"The troop is getting ready for bed.  I want you to help me tuck them in.  Then you are going to get the wooden spoon, the short cane, and the lexan paddle and go over to the office."

I was so irritated, but then I walked into my youngest child's bedroom.  My sweet boy popped up and gave me a big hug and kiss. In that moment, I was so grateful that Steve had stopped me from my tyrade.  I tucked the others in and headed over to the office.

"Take off everything and go stand in the corner." 

He came up behind me after several minutes and started talking in my ear. 

"I've told you before that I don't care if you unload on me. That is what I'm here for, but I'm not going to allow it in front of the children. Do you understand?"  I nodded and started crying.

"It is also clear that I am doing an insufficient job with punishment, because you are not taking me seriously.  I intend to fix that. Keep standing in the corner until I call for you.  I want you to think about what's going to happen and why."

My stomach was in knots, and I was relieved when he finally called me over.  He put me over his knee and spanked me with his hand, the spoon, the paddle, and then the cane.  When he let me up my bottom was stinging from the paddle and I had some welts from the cane. 

"Stand up and stay facing me." 

I was so embarrassed.  I was shifting from foot to foot. I couldn't look him in the eye.  

"Look at me."  I did, but I couldn't maintain it very long.  "I'm sorry, but I don't think we are done yet. We're going to do something different.  Turn sideways and stay still."  

He began swatting me with the lexan paddle again. He gave me ten hard strokes.  It really hurt, and I started crying.  

"Go stand in the corner."   I stayed in the corner until I stopped crying.

"Same position."  He gave me ten more, and I started crying again.

"Turn and face me.  I hope I got through to you with this spanking.  I don't want to have to do this very often."

I simply don't have the words to express how I was feeling at that moment.  I've never experienced that emotion/or series of emotions before.  After standing in front of him for a little bit, he reached out for my hand and asked if I wanted to sit on his lap now.  I practically jumped in his lap.

I stayed in his lap for a long time.  I cried and kissed his neck.  He rubbed my back and kissed the top of my head.  We didn't have sex (that is a first).  He helped me redress, and we went home and got in bed.  He snuggled with me until I fell asleep.

When we woke this morning, he made love to me in the most tender way I think he ever has.  

What's particularly hard is that I had to leave to go out-of-town overnight, so I am writing this post in my hotel room.  I would much rather be in his reassuring arms right now.  

I miss him something fierce despite the fact that my bottom is still sore.  Or maybe I miss him because it is still sore. I'm not sure which. 

Thank God I'll only be away for a day.